The Broken Particle
by DiedInsane
Summary: The world inside Sheldon Cooper's brain was always better then the reality. It was his world. The world he worked so hard to mimic for years, and just when everything was so close to his dreams, the reality crashed and burned. One evening changed Sheldon's life when he got attacked and raped in his own apartment, and now his friends will do anything to get Sheldon back on track.
1. Chapter 1

Fist thing Sheldon Lee Cooper PhD felt when he woke up was pain. Every part of his body felt like it was burning and was going to explode. Suddenly, he was aware of loud beeping and random voices that surrounded him. Sheldon though he heard someone crying but all of it just added on the constant ringing in his ears, not making the slightest bit of sense. He did not have the courage to open his eyes; neither did he have the strength to. The air smelled of drugs, medical alcohol and blood. Although Sheldon wasn't exactly sure of how blood should smell like, since the closest thing he ever got to an injury was scraping his knee as a kid. After a few seconds, he was aware of how focused he was just on breathing, which now seemed like an extremely hard task. It felt like his lungs were drowning in huge pool of pudding. Pudding? Why did he think of pudding? His whole mind was a complete mess and the usually organized thoughts were now just a bunch of images all flooding his consciousness at once. It was incredibly hard to think too; Sheldon felt distracted and could not focus on a single subject. He thought that there is only one reasonable explanation for his sudden luck of clarity – he was on some kind of a drug, maybe painkillers. Well there were two as a matter of fact, but the thought sent shivers down the guy's spine. He could have suffered some kind of brain damage, but that was impossible... improbable. Sheldon still remembered all his formulas, his life and friends. He remembered the eighteenth digit of pi and who invented the train engine. His memory was still there, but the fact that Sheldon did not have amnesia did not mean anything. Quickly, Doctor Cooper dismissed the thought, but his brain kept pondering him with questions. If he was on painkillers, how come he still felt so much pain? Sheldon considered that he was over thinking this, which was probably a good sign. Realizing that the ringing and the pain in his head became much worse, he decided to stop trying to understand whatever was going on and rest.

As Sheldon was drifting away into his troubling sleep, images started to flood his mind. Attempting to piece together his memory, Sheldon started recalling the events of the day.

Leonard left for a date, or whatever it was, with Leslie Winkle and Sheldon was working away, sitting at his chair and typing the forty-second page of his research paper on the String Theory. At precisely 8:47 pm there was an extremely loud knock on the door. Leonard was home early and he seemed mad. That meant that his date with Sheldon's nemesis went badly. Sheldon could not help but smile: even though his best friend just blew it with yet another woman, Leslie was completely intolerable.

"It's open," Sheldon said without looking up from his laptop screen.

"Aww, isn't that sweet! We're getting such a warm welcome!" the physicist froze as he heard the unfamiliar voice speak. He heard the door being slammed shut and the locks turning.

Jumping up from the chair and backing away, Sheldon saw five random guys walking into his living room. One of them was holding Leonard, who seemed to be unconscious. Holding was a rather bad term for whatever the guy was doing – Leonard was partly lying on the floor and the man was pulling the short guy up by his hair. Sheldon's best friend practically looked like a ragdoll. A second later Leonard was thrown in to the corner of the living room landing with a loud thump.

"You know, we were planning on having some fun with your friend here, but you seem far more cute," the man who spoke before now was ridiculously close for Sheldon's comfort zone.

"Excuse me?" Sheldon started to panic and it did not help when he noticed a gun in his offender's hand.

"How about we make a deal here?" The man said with the most wicked grin. "A compromise if you will"

The man sounded intelligent but that did not bother Sheldon. He was confused, scared and on the verge of tears all at the same time. He heard the sofa being moved to block the door. All the people in the room were dressed in jeans and simple jackets. Strangely all of them had the exact same combat boots which Sheldon saw so many people wear this year. In fact, fashion always confused the young physicist. One of the strangers who had long black hair and was the only one to cover his face with a bandana sat down on the floor next to Leonard tying his hands with a rope. Everything was happening way too fast.

Sheldon felt like he was going to faint and taking the opportunity the man in front of him reached into Sheldon's pant's pocket pulling out his cell phone. The next thing he knew, it was lying in pieces on the floor. For a brilliant scientist Sheldon felt incredibly stupid – the simple idea of calling 911 did not occur to him until it was too late.

"So how about this" The intruder threw his gun to one of his friends who now were done with their job of barricading the exit and sat on the now-moved sofa cleaning their nails with knifes. Knifes. Sheldon's heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. Now he was really scared.

"We" the man made a pause "are not going to hurt your friend here" a pause again "but you" he paused again, grinning "are going to a good boy and do whatever we say. Deal?" A slight chuckle escaped the man's lips.

Sheldon just stood there, his mind slowly wrapping around the situation. If he did not agree, they would probably hurt Leonard and him. Sheldon knew that he couldn't even win a fight against his twin sister. His chance against five armed men was below Penny's chances of getting a noble prize. Penny. Would they get her of he did not oblige? Everything was spinning inside Sheldon's brain as he considered the possibilities.

"Deal?" the man before him repeated again as Sheldon felt a cold blade touch his left cheek. He nodded slightly swallowing hard. What other choice did he have?

"Good boy" the man smiled and suddenly Sheldon felt agonizing pain and his perfect posture suddenly collapsed. He was now bent in half grasping his face. Blood was running down his fingers. The knife that a few seconds ago was just resting on his face now made a huge cut going from his left eye diagonally across the guy's face ending right above the right corner of his mouth. Tears were about to start flowing out of his eyes when Sheldon noticed that now he was surrounded by three other people, the guy with a bandana still sitting with beside Leonard.

"On your knees. Now."

The physicist did what he was told, still holding his face, not looking up. Sheldon could almost feel the smirk on the intruder's lips.

"Well, this is going to be a fun night"

**Hey everyone. This is my very first fan-fic so thank you so much for sticking with me! I just felt like can't get enough of certain plots, so here I go writing my own :P I know this is far from perfect or even good so I would really appreciate if you reviewed, that would mean the world to me :3 I am open to all critiques and I promise I will do anything to improve. Being cheesy ftw. I'll update soon if anyone is actually interested: P Thank you ^0^ **


	2. Chapter 2

Everything from that point on went in a blur. Probably for the first time in Sheldon's life, he could not remember something clearly, not counting these few times when Penny got him drunk, which he still had not fully forgiven her for. He remembered pain, and a lot of blood. He remembered his failing attempts not to faint, each of them followed up by a broken bone. He remembered Leonard waking up after about an hour, or so he thought. Although at that time Sheldon was too exhausted to look and make sure.

After it was over, the apartment looked like a scene from a cheap horror movie. There was blood everywhere on the floor and random blood splatters on the walls were smudged and layered on top of each other. Sheldon was lying on the floor unable to move, his whole body on felt like it was burning up in flames. He smelled smoke and seen somebody bending over beside him, putting a cigarette out on his cheek.

"This was fun, we should do it again sometime, don't you think?"

A smile spread across the offenders face as he stood up and left, followed up by his three companions. As the door slammed shut, Sheldon's peripheral vision caught a glimpse of a figure that stood up from the floor and now was slowly approaching him. It was the man, who from the very beginning of the evening was sitting in the corner playing on Leonard's phone. Seconds later beeping filled a silent room.

"911, what's your emergency?" a female voice said on speakerphone.

That was the last thing Sheldon could remember, as his consciousness started fading away plunging him back into the abyss.

* * *

"Anyway, it's like they knew what they were doing. None of Sheldon's vital organs or arterials was hit!"

"Raj, sweetie, shut up"

"Excuse me; I am just trying to lighten the mood here"

"Do you really think that's helping right now?"

Suddenly, Sheldon was aware of everything happening around him. Dialogue, footsteps of somebody pacing, beeping of the heart monitor – each noise felt like another hit on the head. The ringing in the physicists ears didn't stop, staying on a perfect E flat. Slowly, but surely, Sheldon started to distinguish the voices. Even though he hated arguments, it was comforting hearing Raj, Penny and Howard half yell at each other. Sheldon just laid there, listening to the conversation that died out way to quickly, filling the room with uncomfortable science broken only by the heart monitor.

Terrified by absence of Leonard's voice, Sheldon's eyes flew open. Flew was a rather harsh term though - it took Sheldon a few seconds to finally get his vision to focus. Blurry colors slowly became shapes eventually forming themselves into a clear image. There was not much to see though, it was fairly dark with just a bit of lamp light coming from somewhere beyond Sheldon's view. The physicist found himself staring at a white ceiling just above him. Sheldon's neck, just like every other part of his body felt stiff and refused to move even a slightest bit without coursing unbearable pain.

"Sheldon?" he heard Howards voice as a figure approached his bed blocking out the light, which Sheldon felt extremely thankful for.

"Hey buddy, can you hear me?" A wide, childish smile spread across Howards face as he saw Sheldon's big blue eyes looking at him.

When Sheldon was about to respond, when he felt sudden burning in his lungs and quickly gasped for air, his breath shaking.

"Okay, no talking now" Howard paused, thinking of something to do.

"Hey, how about you he blinks once for yes, and twice for no. I think I saw that in an episode of House MD"

"Seriously, you still watch that show?" Howard turned to Raj for a brief moment looking at him with a disapproving expression.

"It sure sounds like a good idea" Sheldon could hear Penny, although he could not see the woman anywhere.

"So once for yes, twice for no, okay?" Howard said after a bit of hesitation turning to face Sheldon again.

After a moment of silence and all eyes fixed on Sheldon he blinked. Howard exhaled falling onto a chair with relief.

A few seconds later, the engineer stood up telling everyone he was off to get a doctor and carefully walked out of the room.

"Hey sweetie…" now Penny was approaching Sheldon's bed trying to sound as sweet as she could. Maybe she wasn't smart like the guys but she knew one thing – sounding as nervous and tired as she actually was would not help anything right now.

"Umm... Leonard is sleeping; he is really tired so I don't want to wake him up right now, okay?"

Sheldon blinked once more trying to ignore the fact that Penny talked to him like he was a child. Leonard was okay and that was all that he was really worried about right now. Sheldon felt like it was his turn to be relieved, but everything was still a disaster. He was still in a hospital. His brain was still fuzzy and refused to think straight. His body still felt like it was dipped in acid and nothing could change what just happened to him. Suddenly Sheldon realized that he was not aware of the time. How long has it been? A few minutes? A couple of hours? Days?

"Sheldon sweetie, ummm… do you want me to call your mother?"

Panicking Sheldon quickly signaled a "no" and even attempted to sit up, regretting it a second later

Honestly, Penny wanted to do that hours ago but the guys convinced her otherwise saying that the last thing their friend needed is pretty much anything. None of the gang knew what to do in this kind of situation even if it was a normal person, but this was Sheldon, which made the situation infinitely more difficult. It was that, and the fact that nobody wanted to make any decisions made her wait. Leonard spent hours pulling his hair out saying all of it was his fault. Howard was pacing back and forth snapping at whoever had the nerve to talk to him. Raj kept trying to start a conversation, his each phrase ending on a nervous or a hysterical laugh. Penny herself, spent hours crying. Everything went to hell in the matter of hours and sure wasn't getting better.

**Hey everyone :3 This is rather short, I know. But this part was rather hard to write… I never actually thought of it as much as I did for some parts of this fic. Also I drew a picture for this fic so that took some time *totally has her priorities right* How should this even work? Should I try to update as much as possible or update every few days with a big chapter? I am a real noob here :P **

**Well, first of all, everyone who followed, favorited and especially left a review, I could not thank you enough. You guys are cool. And awesome.**

**Oh, and since you are reading this, how about you scroll down a bit and write me a few words? As I said, I am a complete noob who is trying to improve and would appreciate your feedback more than you can imagine ^-^ **

**Well, see ya :P **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone. I just wanted to warn you about some things. **

**First of all, I have been fortunate enough to never be in a hospital in my entire conscious life. So all the knowledge I have is from movies, TV shows and books, strangely, all of them give different information on how it's supposed to run. So bear with me and try to believe ahah :P **

**Secondly****, I do not own the Big Bang Theory**** or any of the main characters. Why do I even have to put this here? Didn't I say that it was a Big Bang Theory fanfic and isn't it obvious that I am not Chuck Lorre or Bill Prady… Whatever.**

Howard returned minutes later, followed by a young doctor who was struggling to keep up. The doctor's curly hair, which was perfectly styled hours ago, now looked messy and chaotic. He was carrying a clipboard and folders overfilled with paperwork. Penny actually wondered if all of it was for Sheldon or his other countless patients staying at the hospital.

Sheldon reopened his eyes lifting his head a bit. It took him far more effort than it should to keep them open.

"Good... ummm... morning," the doctor said, pushing up the glasses that were sitting at the tip of the guy's nose, his attempt to sound professional was almost funny, if not sad.

"Mr… um…Dr. Cooper, how are you feeling?"

Sheldon blinked a few times, as if to process the question, with puzzled look on his face. Without waiting for a vocal response the doctor continued, his entire monologue filled with ums and nervous stuttering.

"I…we are still running some tests, so it's not determined … yet …how long you will be staying… have to stay under... um… observation. But... you have lost a considerate amount of blood and have a lot of internal and external injuries so it's best if you could… be here for a couple of weeks... I'll… I'll leave the report here for you to go over… if you wish... I…." The doctor proceeded to pull out a few stapled pieces of paper handing them to Howard, an apologetic smile on his face.

"Um… a nurse will be coming here shortly if you need anything." The doctor said opening the door and almost ran out of the small room.

"Weird" Raj said looking over Howards shoulder, his face ridiculously close to his best friend's. He just didn't see it, did he?

The paper that was handed to them had an enormous list of random injuries – broken bones, deep open wounds, bruises etc. Raj's eyes widened in surprise; he knew the situation was serious, but he could ever imagine something so bad happening to any of his friends. It seemed almost surreal, like something he would see in a drama or even a horror movie.

"It's not too bad" Howard lied and threw the papers on a journal table beside the armchairs. He imagined Sheldon giving him the best are-you-kidding-me face, but the physicist just laid there, his empty eyes were moving all around the room, stopping and fixating on something, then blinking a few times and repeating the pattern again. It sent shivers down the engineer's spine. Sure, Sheldon was in "the zone" a lot, but he always looked busy; thinking, solving problems or making new ones. Now it looked like he was standing beside a broken doll.

Sheldon was one of the greatest scientists at Cal-Tech and President Siebert insisted on getting him the best room in the hospital for the physicist's continuous contributions. It also meant that Sheldon would be most likely to spend more time away from work, giving the president (and everyone around) a few weeks of peace. He also doubled Leonard's vacation time, giving him 4 weeks off, which Leonard considered extremely weird, but decided not to object. Although Raj, Penny, and Howard were not as fortunate, and had to go back to work on Monday, which they were not ready for, considering the Saturday sun which was rising over Pasadena, while a nurse walked down hospital hallways to Sheldon's room.

Seconds later, there was a knock on the door and a short blonde nurse entered through the door pushing a small trey with all kinds of things on it. Howard would've hit on her, if he wasn't too busy reading the 5th page of Sheldon's diagnosis, which he picked up a second after he threw it.

Disregarding the four people in the room, she rolled the trey closer to Sheldon's bed and walked over to the light switch.

"I am going to turn the light on, okay?" she flipped the switch, and bright, florescent light filled the room, blinding Sheldon for a couple of seconds and causing him to close his eyes shut, wincing.

When his eyes finally adjusted to the light, Sheldon started to look around. Now he could see Leonard sitting in one of the chairs hugging his legs, sleeping in a cocoon position. Penny was right beside him, eyes bloodshot and her hair as messy as ever. Howard was extremely tense and was standing in the corner reading the papers with a serious expression. Raj was still somewhere beyond Sheldon's view. Now the physicist was aware if of his right arm being in an uncomfortable cast, all of his fingers separated and fixed in place on their own. A thick tube was sticking under it and going to a DRIP stand that contained multiple bags, which Sheldon didn't want to think about. He was also aware of a Nasal Cannula which went uncomfortably around his head.

After a brief procedure of the nurse shining an extremely bright flashlight into Sheldon's eyes, testing his reflexes, measuring his temperature and such she replaced some bags on the DRIP, she put some water on the nightstand near Sheldon's bed and after putting blankets and extra pillows beside, she gave Penny some more, presumably for Leonard, and left. The nurse was advised Sheldon to rest, made him take some sleeping pills and was supposed to return in about 5 hours, so Penny turned off the lights finally asking Howard to explain the source of his sudden seriousness.

Seconds later, Sheldon Lee Cooper drifted away into uncomfortable, fragmented sleep flooded by dark images and flashes.

**Again, I know this is short, but I am trying… really hard. My friend told me it was ridiculous to think about each line, trying to make the characters believable but still, I feel like I have to. Just a few more chapters like this and I promise you that I will write much, much more. I mean I am pretty bad at writing (ask my English teacher) so … yeah. Thank you all for the support again! This chapter came really hard and I would have ditched it and the idea of writing if not for you, people who reviewed, favorited and followed :3 You guys are awesome, be proud of yourselves :P **


	4. Chapter 4

The early California sun was shining through the window of a small room at the Pasadena State Hospital, waking Sheldon up from his restless sleep. Strangely, he felt much better; his head and body didn't hurt, well, at least not as much as they did before. Sheldon blamed it on the increase of the pain medication, and was completely right to. The physicist sat up, said task that was very hard to accomplish, given that the entire length his left arm was wrapped in bandages and a cast sat awkwardly on his right hand. Agonizing, burning pain rushed through his entire back but Sheldon did his best to ignore it when he heard Leonard standing up from his now-beloved armchair.

"Good Morning, Sheldon"

Sheldon gave no indication of hearing his best friend's greeting, leaning back against the headboard and closing his eyes for a few long seconds, the guy's face grimaced in an expression somewhere between pain and discomfort. When the physicist found the courage to face his best friend again, he saw Leonard standing right beside him with a forced smile on his lips.

"Hey, buddy. How are you? Here, you must be hungry"

Leonard turned a small, wheeled hospital table to its proper position, thankful that the nurse brought it with her a few minutes ago. Sheldon stared down at the food, which was still hot, and was positioned nicely on a plastic tray. After a couple of minutes, the physicist still didn't touch his breakfast or even look up. He just sat there, motionless, his breath shallow and broken. A few more minutes passed and Leonard finally lost his patience: even though he slept through the last ten hours, the guy still felt tired and exhausted.

"Listen, Sheldon, I know you are very upset, and trust me, we are all really worried about you, but you have to eat at least something" Leonard exhaled slowly regretting his harsh tone and continued, "I know I shouldn't be mad at you, and I am well aware that this is solely my fault and…" the experimental physicist heard his voice shake, he cried plenty over Penny but he never would have considered messing up worse than that. Leonard knew that Sheldon might never recover from this. What if his best friend never talks again or if he ditches his work? Leonard was convinced that it all was entirely his fault. He spent hours blaming himself, wishing that he was more careful: how can one not notice five people following him? "If you want to talk to someone... I'll call my mom or I can…"

"I don't blame you" Sheldon said, looking up, nothing but confused. His mouth was slightly open emphasising a split lip that was now slightly bleeding.

"What?" Leonard was astonished, his best friend was never the one to comfort, or even understand peoples' feelings. It wasn't at all like Sheldon, unless the genius finally found a way to read minds, which Leonard highly doubted.

Not saying another word, Sheldon pulled up the blanket, hugging the end with his left hand and looked down again softly biting his lower lip to wipe of the blood. Leonard considered the possibility of him just imagining things but refused to believe it, quickly banishing the thought into the depth of his mind.

"Okay, well, all I am saying is that you have been in and out of it for about 15 hours now, and you need to eat something" Leonard walked over to the bed and opened a plastic fork that was sealed inside a little package, handing it to Sheldon, who accepted it after a few seconds of staring, awkwardly holding it between his left thumb and the middle finger; which were the only ones not bandaged. Quietly, Sheldon started moving his food around, not eating any of it. After a few minutes of Leonard testing his own patience, his best friend finally started eating, chewing slowly. Sheldon closed his eyes every time he swallowed, grimacing in pain.

"Howard and Raj are getting you some things from our place; do you need anything um... in particular?" For once, Leonard was glad that he had listened to Penny and let his friends bring Sheldon's stuff to the hospital. He already felt bad enough for sleeping through the entire night, causing his best friend to wake up alone. Not that Sheldon was alone, but Leonard still felt overprotective, guilt being the main reason behind it.

Sheldon shook his head once more when the door opened, and Penny, who left a while ago to get some breakfast, came in. Seeing Sheldon up made a wide smile appear on her lips.

"Good morning, sweetie" Sheldon didn't respond as his eyes found the way to the floor on the right side of his bed, eliminating any chance of eye contact whatsoever. She set the newly bought donuts on the journal table and handed Leonard a big cup of coffee.

Thanking her, Leonard noticed than Sheldon stopped eating and now was holding the end of his fluffy blanket again, hugging it tightly with his left hand. Most of the food was still on the plate, and it looked like Sheldon didn't eat anything at all. Deciding not to push his luck any farther, Leonard took the tray, setting it down on the table.

"Some um, Sheldon, do you need anything?" Leonard repeated his question, desperately trying to make Sheldon say at least something but his best friend just shook his head slightly, not looking up.

Nobody talked for some time. Sheldon didn't move at all, still sitting there, looking at his own hands, when Raj and Howard interrupted the uncomfortable silence and entered the room, both carrying big backpacks.

"Hey, we are back"

"That was fast, "Penny said while Leonard stood up and grabbed both backpacks, setting them down beside the donuts.

"Well, for once, Sheldon's label making system actually helped."

"Uhuh..." the experimental physicist opened both bags, pulling out his roommates red laptop from one of them, wires still attached to it. He set it on Sheldon's table and started looking for a plug. Ditching the idea after a couple of seconds, he decided to ask the nurse later and walked back to the coffee table.

"So, Sheldon, we dropped by the comic book store and got you a little something." Howard looked extremely proud of himself as he pulled out a red book out of a plastic bag. "Flash comics #33, first appearance of Shade!" The engineer presented it to Sheldon with a satisfied look on his face.

Leonard walked over to the source of the commotion, amused grin spread all over his face.

"Howard, that's amazing!"

"I know you found it, Raj" the engineer said with an annoyed expression right after Raj leaned close to him and whispered a few words, demanding some credit.

"So, what do you think?" Howard seemed as excited as a five year old showing his parents a new drawing.

Sheldon's eyes widened in surprise as looked at the comic book that he wanted for years now. After the surprise passed, the experimental physicist looked lost, his widened eyes looking in every possible direction. Everyone was looking at him, demanding some sort of response which made the young physicist extremely uncomfortable. Sadly, Raj recognized himself in that situation: he looked just like that when a woman tried to talk to him.

"Um.. ehh… aah… th-thanks" Even though Sheldon avoided any sort of eye contact, just hearing his voice (and being sure it was real) made Leonard want to jump up and down in joy. Just an hour ago, he was concerned that his best friend will plunge into an eternal "zone", like he usually did when he was upset, and never talk to him again. Even though he only managed to get five words out of Sheldon in the past hour, (assuming that he didn't imagine four of them), Leonard still considered it good enough. Usually, he would have been glad if his roommate, who could never shut up, left him alone for at least some time, but now, of course, that wasn't the case.

"You're very welcome" Howard pit his hand on the friend's shoulder, which he regretted a second later, when Sheldon jerked away as far as he could without breaking any hospital equipment. He was never the one for touching, but nobody ever saw him this panicked.

Howard just stepped away, deciding not to bother Sheldon further and an awkward silence filled the room once again.

* * *

Sheldon opened his laptop, finally letting go of the blanket. Raj and Howard left a couple of hours ago, Howard saying that his mother needed him for something and Raj, who couldn't talk with Penny being there, followed him quietly. Soon after, Penny herself got called to work, and even though she was a pretty waitress at the cheesecake factory and could not get fired, she decided not to test her boss and left, wishing Sheldon and Leonard a good day.

Before turning on his computer, Sheldon blankly stared at it for a few minutes. His reflection in the black screen should not have surprised the physicist, but everything just seemed way too surreal to believe. There were bruises under both of his eyes, his lover lip was split, and two huge, deep, stitched cuts flaunted across his face. One of them went from under his left eye going diagonally across his face, finishing itself an inch above the right corner of his mouth. The second one, which Sheldon did not remember getting, started exactly below the middle of his right eye, going almost perfectly vertically, intersecting with the first scar, and almost splitting his lips. Sheldon lifted his left hand, tracing the scars with his middle finger, as if to make sure they were real. Shuddering at the painful memories, he quickly hit the power button and the screen lit up.

Leonard was watching his best friend quietly, sitting in his armchair with a cup of now-cold coffee and a box of donuts which nobody actually ate from. Sheldon didn't say a word or show any signs of being a human since the comic book and neither did he let go of the blanket, which worried Leonard more than it should have. He was about to talk to his best friend, or at least attempt to, when Sheldon finally reached for his laptop.

After a moment, a word document opened up revealing the forty-second page of Sheldon's research paper, the last sentence was stopped midway. Of course the physicist's OCD would never let him do that, and soon Sheldon's brain started flooding with images of the true reason behind such nonsense. The memories that he was trying so hard to keep out all day came back to haunt him with doubled strengths. Sheldon always adored his eidetic memory, but right now he wished it never existed. The physicist closed his eyes, trying to think of anything to distract himself, but without any success. The entire evening flashed before him on what seemed like an infinite loop - images, sounds, thoughts all mixed up in no particular ordered kept pounding his brain. Sheldon closed his eyes as tight as he could, as his breath became shallow and ragged. Tightly clenching the blanket again, Sheldon curled up, so his face almost touched the table in front of him. "No, Sheldon Cooper doesn't cry" the guy thought to himself, as tears started flowing out of his eyes, making the cuts on his face burn. It became hard to breath and Sheldon's entire body started shaking. Through a thick veil of hysteria he heard Leonard's voice, which was too filled with panic.

"Sheldon? Sheldon, oh god" As fast as he could, Leonard took his best friend's laptop, almost throwing it on the couch and poured some water into a glass that was standing on the nightstand. He never knew what to expect from Sheldon, especially now, but he would never expect a random meltdown out of nowhere. He would be surprised if it didn't happen eventually, he was shocked that it didn't happen long before, but now that it did, he had no idea of what to do.

"Calm down, listen to me" Suddenly Leonard realized how heavy his breath was. He exhaled lowly; trying to put his thought together, which were now a blur. "Way to go Hofstadter, nothing makes people feel better then telling them to calm down!" he though trying to take a different approach, careful not to touch his best friend repeating Howards mistake.

"Here, it's okay. You are safe. It's fine" Leonard just spat out all the most cliché lines he could think of. His roommate always got upset over ridiculous things, so Leonard never found the need to comfort him in any way.

"Here, drink" Leonard moved his arm, so Sheldon could see the glass, but without shoving it into his best friend's face.

Sheldon's trembling arm reached for the glass and took it with hesitation, but as soon as he did, it slipped out of his hand, which was not surprising, since Sheldon only had two fingers to operate. It landed on the bed sheet and, thankfully, Leonard was quick enough to prevent it from spilling, picking it up again.

Instinctively, he hugged Sheldon from behind with his left arm, which Sheldon didn't seem to be bothered by, or just didn't notice, and brought the glass in front of his friend's face. Leonard became even more aware of how much Sheldon was shaking and quickly tilted the glass to let him drink. As if for confidence, or just as a habit, Sheldon lifted his left arm so he was almost holding the glass drinking small sips between is disarrayed breaths.

As the strengths seemed to leave his body, Sheldon's muscles slowly relaxed as he collapsed in Leonard's grasp. The rapid breathing subsided and became slow, still quivering. Tears seemed to stop, leaving the physicist's eyes wet and even more swollen then before.

"It's okay. You are safe. It's fine" Leonard repeated again, as if to make sure that was truly the case.

**Thank everyone for making it this far :P I really hoped you liked this chapter. I am trying to take all your reviews into account. I really appreciate them, by the way. I really do and I could not thank you enough. Well, what else can I say.. It's 3 in the morning, I have school...**** today and my homework is really lamely done. Again, I totally have my priorities straight haha. I still have to proofread this again tomorrow, so sorry for all the wait.. Anyway, if you are reading this, I already uploaded this chapter (duh?) and working on the next one. See ya then :D **


	5. Chapter 5

"It's okay. You are safe. It's fine"

The words echoed in Sheldon's head. He wasn't exactly sure of what just happened or why. The familiar ringing in his ears became more noticeable and now blocked out all the sound except the small glimpses of Leonard's voice, which he could not understand. Sheldon's vision went blurry, his entire body was numb and felt extremely hot and ice cold at the same time. The entire room span in circles and his chest was on fire, causing the physicist to slow down his painful breaths. Sheldon's hand reached for his head as he became aware of the pounding headache that made Sheldon want to peel his face off in stripes. Now, only his best friends arm held his body in place, preventing him from falling down.

He never wanted this. He never needed this. He tried so hard to believe that it never happened. But no amount of denial would change the past, and the physicist knew that perfectly. All Sheldon Lee Cooper wanted now was to disappear from this dimension, forget the reality that he hated that much. The world inside his brain was always better. It was his world. The world he worked so hard to mimic for years, and just when everything was so close to his dreams, the reality crashed and burned. Even though Sheldon's brain still felt fuzzy and messed up, the genius still had hope that he could fix that and get his mind back to normal, but he wasn't so sure that he could fix the realty.

As Leonard slowly lowered his down on the bed, Sheldon turned to the side, he curled up in a tiny ball as well as the physicist could with his limbs not bending properly. It felt like nothing could touch him now, or bother him ever again, so the physicist desperately tried to distract himself from the painful thoughts that refused it leave his mind. Nothing seemed to work, and it felt like the genius could not focus on anything whatsoever. Feeling like he would go crazy any minute now, Sheldon's breath started to speed up and he began to shake slightly again. He did not know for how long he was trying to keep his panic at bay when he suddenly heard voices and loud footsteps approaching.

Any attempt in calm Sheldon down seemed to completely miserable. Leonard tried everything he could think of, but his roommate just seemed to ignore or just not hear him, and after Sheldon completely lost the control over anything, Leonard finally decided to call a nurse.

Minutes later a doctor, who was followed by Leonard, came running into Sheldon's room.

"He's been doing that for a while now" Leonard was panting hard form running.

Now he had no choice but to watch as his best friend continued to lie on the hospital bed, nails digging into his skin, leaving deep scratches and staining the sheets with a few small drops of blood. The doctor took one of the tubes, the other end of which was plucked into Sheldon's vein, and injected it with a syringe full of transparent liquid.

Seconds later Sheldon's grip seemed to weaken and his body began to relax. He couldn't think straight before, but now he couldn't think at all. For the first time in hours he felt at ease. Steeply, Sheldon opened his eyes and looked around the room.

Slowly, Sheldon's mind began to shut down, his eyelids seemed to weight a ton and he drifted off into the strangely comforting darkness.

"He should sleep now."

Before leaving the room, the doctor turned around to Leonard, saying that they should reconsider the decision of not getting a physiologist. After a small conversation, Leonard gave in and said he'll think about it, but he was sure that the only psychologist Sheldon didn't consider a fraud was his mother, and he really didn't want to bring her into this. The last thing Sheldon probably wanted was a book written about him.

After the doctor left, Leonard closed the blinds and turned on a small lamp in the corner of the room wishing Sheldon a good night, not sure if his best friend could hear him.

* * *

"You have to stop beating yourself up like this!"

"Really? Because I am pretty sure I should!"

"You think all of this is your fault?"

"What was your first clue?"

"Well, he is not going to be better if you keep being such a jerk!

"Now I am the jerk?"

Sheldon could hear Leonard and Penny arguing even through the annoying ringing, each word felt like a knife piercing through his ears and cutting deep into his brain. Desperately, he pulled his bangs up with his left hand, trying to divert the pain.

"Stop it, both of you!"

Everyone fell silent, and even though Sheldon felt much better without the chaos and loud noises in the room, the physicist still felt like he was about to cry. He hated fighting, any form of it, and now it even sounded like the whole argument started because of him. The scenario brought back painful memories from his childhood, which just piled up on top of the recent events.

"Oh, Sheldon, you are awake" Leonard hurried to his best friend's bed, glad that he was finally talking. The medication still didn't wear off so Sheldon was a bit more talkative, much alike to being drunk.

"That's because you've been yelling so much, honey"

Deciding to ignore Penny's rude remarks, Leonard sat down on his best friend's bed and continued questioning him, feeling guilty for using the current situation as an excuse to get Sheldon to talk.

"So how are you feeling?"

"Bad"

One word. One goddamn word. Leonard could not help but feel extremely disappointed. Sheldon was always the talkative one, he could never shut up and now for the first time someone actually wanted to hear him rant, he didn't say more than one stupid word. Honestly, Leonard was expecting to hear Sheldon's familiar "Regarding what?". Sheldon always said that when he was asked how he was after something bad happened. It was Sheldon's way of showing people that he didn't care, although in a lot of cases he really did. Leonard could not even see any expression on Sheldon's face and his best friend still did not look him in the eye, which bothered Leonard to the point of wanting to throw his loved armchair out of the room. Summoning all the courage and tolerance he had, Leonard tried again, making his tone unaggressive as possible.

"Okay, you are going to have to be a bit more specific than that."

"Really bad?" Sheldon sounded frustrated, as if Leonard asked him an extremely dumb question which there was no answer too. Actually, Leonard asked stupid questions that completely pissed off Sheldon but he never let himself show it, trying to be at least somewhat polite, but now his thoughts followed no logical order and made no sense. Sheldon blamed the drugs, and that one really hard hit on the head.

Rolling to his side as well as Sheldon could in the given position he closed his eyes and fell asleep soon after, feeling much better in the dark and silent room then before.

Exhaling slowly, Leonard sat down. He really didn't know what to do. I was 4:30 in the morning and he still didn't get any sleep. Leonard's been fighting with Penny, who made him drive all the way home, because apparently he needed to "calm down and rest" and now was calling him a jerk. Now he just wondered what Raj and Howard were doing since they left. Maybe they did not think or care about Sheldon at all, or maybe Howard made fun of him for being a wimp and Raj got mad at him, or maybe they just didn't talk about anything at all. Awkward silence seemed to be a thing for the last few days.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Penny sat down beside Leonard trying to look as cheerful as possible but gave up after a few seconds.

"Uh? You think he'll be okay"

"He'll be fine"

"You really think so?"

"Of course I do… sort of."

"That's very reassuring"

"Listen, I know it's complicated but if you want Sheldon to get over it, you should do that yourself first"

"That's actually the most helpful thing you have ever said"

"I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that"

The whole conversation went without Leonard even turning his head; he just stared ahead with a blank expression. After a few seconds he turned to his friend.

"You wanna get some sleep?"

"More than you can imagine"

After that Leonard moved to the sofa and he and Penny fell asleep. That night, Penny had rather weird dreams that she would forget by morning, while and Leonard was just hoping that the new day would bring some stability back into their lives.

**Okay, yeah, I have nothing to rant about today. Thanks for the faves and follows, I appreciate them a ton. As for the reviews, what can I say; if you left one you are the greatest person alive. And if you leave one right now, I am going to love you for the rest of my life. Well, sorry for like ten days or so of waiting, I'm truly really guilty and I suck, yeah, throw your tomatoes at me. Well, I should not have much schoolwork left after I hand in like 5 projects on Monday, so hopefully my lazy ass is going to hurry up with the next chapter. Bye :P **


	6. Chapter 6

His friends always told Sheldon to get out of his comfort zone more, but recently Sheldon thought he didn't have a comfort zone at all. He was literary always uncomfortable. Since Leonard moved in, there were always too many people in his apartment, too much noise, too many arguments. Nothing was ever perfect, there was always something wrong. His meat was shredded and not cut, the thermostat temperature was wrong, someone tried to sit at his spot, and everything was always bad. Even though Sheldon got used to his life, learned to deal with it, and considered it the best he will ever get, it still was far from perfect.

Not now though. Right now Sheldon didn't worry about anything. Right now everything amazing. He was calm and peaceful. Opening his eyes, Sheldon saw the familiar hospital room, and the early morning light coming through open blinds. He saw Leonard siting on one, same armchair, as always. All his other friends sat on the couches and were eating something. Raj was sitting cross-legged on the floor. The smell of coffee filled the room, and to Sheldon it felt like such a friendly atmosphere, but for some reason, nobody talked, or even looked at each other.

The physicist saw an IV stand beside him, which had one-too-many bags on it, not that the fact surprised him. Sheldon was always a smart guy, and it didn't take long to figure out that he was drugged; he was aware of that the second he woke up, but then again, it didn't bother him as much as it should've. Sheldon knew that he should go crazy and yell at someone right now, but he had no desire to. That, actually, terrified Sheldon more than anything, but again, he didn't actually get scared. At the back of his head, the genius knew that he should be freaked out or at least cautious, but no emotion came with the realization.

Once again, Sheldon tried to recall the events of the past few hours. The physicist hated that that was the only way for him to get to think about anything. Every time something significant happened, his brain would just shut down, working, or rather not working, on its own. Taking advantage of his eidetic memory, Sheldon rolled the events out to himself, like a movie that felt strangely familiar but distant at the same time.

* * *

The darkness enveloped the entire room when Sheldon woke up after a few long hours of sleep. The physicist opened his eyes and tried to call someone out, but nobody responded, the room was empty. Sheldon was finally alone. Finally, Sheldon had some time to think. But the problem was, he could not. Sheldon's brain was still fuzzy and he could not see straight. He could not get his thoughts in line, and the genius brain seemed to be a dump of random information. He tried to concentrate on his research paper, but unsuccessfully. He could not think straight and that terrified him. The most important thing for Sheldon cooper PhD was his brain, and he could not afford to lose that much. Come to think of it, Sheldon didn't consider having anything other than his intelligence to himself. His friends kept telling him how obnoxious and annoying he was, he wasn't great in any arts, and Sheldon knew that, if he ever had any interest in getting a girlfriend, he wouldn't exactly have an easy run. To sum it up, he had no recognizable talents, no amazing looks or a great body, and he wasn't exactly winning any character awards. Even though Sheldon knew all that his entire life, somehow he still considered himself an amazing guy. Yes, on some level he hated himself, but he was still better than everyone else around.

Sheldon realized that he never had those thoughts before. In the past, it was easier to just stay ignorant, that was the plan. In some cases, ignorance was, in fact, bliss. It was all the medication screwing with Sheldon's head. Mashing things up, making him think stupid things. Sheldon hated it, he absolutely hated it. Why did he, of all people have to go through all of this? Sheldon considered that for the sake of an argument, he could just assume, that probably, maybe, he wasn't such a great guy after all. Raj believed into this kind of karma nonsense. Here, again, he just called Raj's beliefs nonsense. But why would Sheldon care about this? He was thinking the truth, wasn't he? That stupid, stupid, medication. The physicist was about to rip his face off if it continued like that.

Sheldon's eyes fell on the small IV stand, and his vision trailed off to his own hand. Without thinking, Sheldon ripped the tubes out of his arm. He had to stop this madness, get his mind back to how it was, how it's supposed to be. It hurt a lot, and he feel his warm blood running down onto the bed.

Catching his breath, Sheldon suddenly felt his vision getting enveloped by a thick veil. Minutes later, his head started pounding and everything began to shake. Curling up on his bed and gritting his teeth. Everything hurt and his ears rang, which was strangely familiar, and which scared Sheldon to death. When everything went insane, he even tried to scream, but failed to produce any sound at all, and gave up, lying down gripping his bed sheets, waiting for the pain and madness to pass.

* * *

Of course, Sheldon wasn't aware of it, but a great deal happened after that, it was a whole other story, filled with arguing, stress and madness of its own.

Everything started when Leonard and Penny decided to get some free time and go home for the night, given that Sheldon was drugged once again, and was not supposed to wake up for another 10 hours. To be honest, Leonard wasn't surprised by Sheldon's sudden panic attacks. His roommate passed out in any sense of danger and Leonard didn't exactly see any other options. Nobody could argue that his best friend has always been a mess, right now, it just got worse. Or rather people started to care, it was a form of an excuse for Sheldon's weird behaviour, or at least Leonard saw it this way. Clearly, he was extremely worried for Sheldon and maybe, just maybe, he just came up with excuses to make everything seem lighter, happier, and weirder. Seconds after Leonard caught himself thinking all that, he couldn't help but feel extremely guilty. Right now he could not believe that Sheldon was in any way selfish and obnoxious. "How could I ever call him that?" He thought. Right now, Leonard could regret so many things, it drove him insane.

Minutes later Leonard and Penny were sitting on Penny's couch and watching another one of Penny's terrible romances. Chinese food containers were sitting half-empty on the table, but Leonard kept wanting to run back to the hospital. Something bothered him, but the guy just ignored the feeling. Soon after, he set an alarm clock and him and Penny went to bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

Leonard was woken up by a loud ringing, but it wasn't the alarm. Picking up his phone, half asleep he responded.

"Yes, I'm Dr. Hofstadter."

"Yes, he is my roommate"

"Oh god, what happened?"

Suddenly, Leonard sat up on the bed and started to look for his clothes.

Then there were fast beeps of the phone being hung up.

Soon after, Leonard and Penny, as well as Howard and Raj, were back in Sheldon's room. Even though Leonard thought that his friends should not be there, Raj would complain forever if they didn't, and Penny made the mistake of writing them a text, ruining their adult-sized sleepover. Raj already had his second beer, and was draining the third bottle, which was now wrapped in a paper bag. Penny started the conversation, not being able to bear the silence longer.

"So what do we do now?"

"I guess we just wait for his mother to get here" Howard responded.

"Yeah, about that..." Leonard could feel everyone watching his every move, listening to his every word. Leonard was Sheldon's best friend and roommate, after all.

"You didn't call her?"

"What do you mean, he didn't call her? Did you call her? " Penny was shocked. She thought something like this went without saying.

"Are you out of your mind? What was I supposed to say?

"Oh, I don't know, maybe your son got beaten up raped trying to save my ungrateful ass?"

Raj joined the conversation. Everyone knew that he was a jerk when drunk, but that was too far. Howard turned to his best friend.

"That was a no-pun-intended, right?"

"What pun?"

"Really, that's what you heard from that?"

Penny was outraged, and she could not remember ever being so mad, and the guys just kept being silly, regardless of the situation.

"Anyway, Penny asked him, and he said he didn't want her here"

Leonard was perfectly aware, that right now, Sheldon didn't know what he wanted at all, and that his best friend's wishes were not exactly a valid excuse.

"Does what he wants really matter?"

The yelling and arguing continued for what seemed to be forever. The gang trailed off to talk about Beverly, but Leonard himself was wildly against calling her. Howard and Raj started making up theories explaining Sheldon's sudden meltdown. Nobody knew what happened, not even the doctors, so there were just blind assumptions, and nothing else. Honestly speaking, his friend's conclusions seemed like nonsense to Leonard, even though some of them sounded pretty reasonable. Still, Leonard's only solution so far was to hide everything sharp in the apartment for that one day when his roommate would be discharged, which seemed so far away.

"Well, I will buy him a new phone and he'll call whoever he wants, okay?"

Everyone was skeptical, but in the end agreed to leave it to Sheldon, he needed some control in life, after all. Plus, Leonard remembered how mad his roommate was when he called Sheldon's mom when the guy was fired. Leonard remembered Sheldon yelling and saying "that's not a reason to call someone's mother". But the line between a good enough reason and a pathetic excuse was too faded to see. Right now, he just had to assume that he knew Sheldon well enough to, at least, not screw up worse than what everything already was.

***Quick update* There seems to be a misconception about this.. I am still doing the story, and it is very, very far from done..." **

**Sorry, this chapter was all flash back thing for the reviews, favorites and follows, I appreciate them so much, so thanks for putting the dumbest smile possible in the history of mankind on my face, you guys are cool :3**


	7. Chapter 7

Ignoring the early morning light and people sitting around the room, Sheldon closed his eyes. He didn't have the nerve, or the desire to face his friends right now. The last few days have been a blur, and today, well, today he didn't know what they would say. How would people even treat him after this? Sheldon wasn't sure there was even a social convention stating one's actions in this situation. He felt horrible, probably worse than ever. The physicist couldn't even describe his feeling in one sentence. Fear, disgust, regret, sadness, every single emotion kept bleeding into Sheldon life, flooding his vision. He though that, surely, the guys wouldn't consider it a big deal. They would come to great length for _that_, especially Howard with his cheesy pickup lines and stupid things like that. Although, the gender probably mattered, or why else would Howard try to find a girl, when he could have easily hook up with Raj? Sheldon never thought about this before. In all honesty, he didn't think it was possible. The physicist felt an ironic smile spread across his face that was too faint to see for anyone else. Sheldon considered all the facts, he was at a hospital, and he didn't need to see a report to know how serious everything was. How much did the doctor say again? A few weeks, huh. A few weeks until what? Until he can go home, until he can go to work, until he can take of the stiches? With the immense amount of pain medication, Sheldon knew he would not be able to continue his research papers, not that he would have been anyways, in this state of mind. It took the physicist a lot just to keep reasonable and not just drown in a pool of randomness, although it was much easier than before. No, thinking was not any better, but just the plain drugs that kept him from freaking out were enough.

Sheldon lied there, his eyes closed, listening to silence, lost in his own thoughts. Sometime later, he heard Penny, Raj and Howard leave for work, saying goodbye. It was still very early, and Sheldon knew he wouldn't be bothered for another couple of hours. Quiet, peace, silence. Nowadays, such small things were actually important. Not that Sheldon ever underestimated them, it always meant a lot to the guy.

Getting bored soon after, Sheldon could almost feel the effects of the drug fade away. His thoughts became less and less complex, and made very little sense. He started catching himself spacing out and just fixating on one image or thought for minutes. Sheldon could think of a million different descriptions for what he felt, but the most overwhelming one, was in fact, just simple fear.

Before going completely insane, Sheldon opened his eyes and sat up. He saw Leonard sit on his one and only armchair, looking at nothing, lost in thought. When he saw Sheldon up, Leonard's face suddenly turned incredibly gloomy, angry and somehow disappointed all at the same time. The guy looked like he was about to snap at someone. He had black circles under his eyes and somehow seemed years older than before. Although the look of contempt faded seconds later and was replaced by a friendly smile, that didn't look either real or fake.

"Good morning, Shelly"

Leonard's rehearsed greeting, the one that he always used whenever Sheldon acted especially weird or crazy. Even though it usually didn't bother Sheldon, and even made him feel better, now it just sounded stupid and made Sheldon want to punch his friend. Why was everyone treating him like a kid all of the sudden? Not like anyone really cared before, cared about anything.

"…Morning" was all Sheldon could manage back.

"How're you feeling?"

"Regardless what? Anyhow, that's a rather stupid question, considering…" Sheldon's thoughts trailed off somewhere before he could finish a sentence.

Now, a much warmer smile spread across Leonards' face. Even temporary, he was glad to have his jerk-of-a-roommate acting normal again, whatever normal meant for Sheldon. Which soon after led to Sheldon's genuinely confused expression. Noticing that, Leonard explained, at least tried to.

"I'm just glad you're back, buddy"

"I.. never.. left..." Sheldon felt his thought's blanking out again, forgetting anything he wanted to say.

"Yeah, whatever." Leonard's dumb smile refused to go away. "I'll go get you some breakfast, okay? Today's oatmeal day"

Seconds later, Leonard was already walking down the hallway. It took a while for Sheldon to process everything. Today was oatmeal day, and that meant today was Monday. Which was quite obvious, considering everyone left for work. Didn't Penny say she didn't work on Mondays? And why was Leonard still here? Sheldon decided that he is just getting more confused, and left it at that. It's not like time mattered anymore, it's not like anything really mattered anymore; he was just way too far gone.

Leonard walked in, making Sheldon realize how slow his thought process was. The physicist thought that he really needed to do something about it, but ripping the pain meds off again wasn't such a good idea. Why did he even consider it anyways? A sudden realization hit Sheldon in the face, he was surely, without a doubt, going insane. Everyone is a little crazy, some people just more than the others. Or maybe some people need something to happen, a trigger to be pulled, that would shoot their sanity all over the wall, along with their self-esteem, assurance and faith.

"Shelly?"

Sheldon realized that he has been spacing out again. No. Why did it have to be this way? Looking at a plate of food, which was now sitting in front of him, Sheldon could feel his stomach curling up.

"I'm… I'm not hungry"

Leonard's smile faded away in the matter of seconds and the guy closed his eyes, sighing loudly.

"Come on, do you _have_ to make everything so hard?"

Leonard emphasized the "have" considerably, as if Sheldon had a real choice. It was always like that. Everyone always asked Sheldon the same questions, like he could solve everything. "Have you tried to appreciate human contact?", "Do you have to be so weird?", "Why do you have to make this an issue?" Sheldon decided that he really shouldn't focus on his childhood issues. He wished they were about childhood, but similar conversations continued his entire life. Sure, the physicist wasn't crazy, not yet anyway, but when it came to mental disorders, he had the entire bundle.

Sheldon thought, that his entire life he was just called a jerk or, to quote Penny, a giant pain in the ass. But now, that he has got some actual injuries, suddenly everyone was nice to him. The physicist's eyes fell on a flash comic book, still sitting on a journal table, unwrapped, in its shiny plastic. Wait, was everyone actually considering his feelings, rather than a few broken bones. And cuts. And bruises.

Its self-pity time, Sheldon thought to himself, with a bitter attitude the guy never knew he had. Nobody considered it a big deal, Sheldon though, reiterating himself. Maybe Penny would be a bit sympathetic, but he couldn't hope for more, could he? He really didn't know.

"…I didn't mean to…Sheldon?" Leonard interrupted himself through he apologetic rant, realizing that his roommate probably didn't even distinguish a part of it.

"Just eat"

Leonard just hoped his roommate would give in, making his best look that was pretty much a mix of puppy eyes and visible annoyance. In any other situation, assuming he would even bother to do anything, Leonard would probably tell Sheldon to eat before he stuffed the meal down his throat. Of course, right now, this wasn't an option.

"Alright"

"Good"

Picking up a spoon, which seemed awkward enough with two fingers on his left hand, Sheldon concentrated as hard as he could to, simply, not spill anything.

Sheldon realized that he couldn't do anything without Leonard's help anymore. Honestly, Sheldon was always dependant on his roommate; driving him places, buying things. Doing so much for just a random guy who happened to rent you a room, Sheldon could never do something like this. But now, even getting dinner seemed impossible.

"I really want to go home"

Sheldon whispered, for the first time in days saying what he really felt. It was only the tip of the iceberg, but it was something. The physicist didn't even know why, but for some reason, he felt like Leonard was expecting to hear something like that. Not that Leonard ever cared about his feeling though, Sheldon thought.

"I know, buddy, I know"

After a few long minutes of silence, and Sheldon quietly stirring his oatmeal, the taller guy finally decided to ask something he's been pondering for hours, but instead, what came out was nothing but a useless statement.

"I... you're not at work..."

"I took some time off, so you don't get bored"

_And so you don't do anything stupid again. _

"I see... Thanks"

Sheldon kept poking his breakfast. It was nothing like his homemade oatmeal, or maybe he just didn't have the appetite. Sheldon always hated hospitals, especially when he had to be the patient. Not like that ever happened. Sheldon wasn't as clumsy as his friends; he didn't get video game injuries, or accidently eat something wrong. But then, his eternal alertness didn't really pay off at the end. He was the one in bed with every spot on his body covered in bruises and deep cuts; not Leonard, or Penny, not Raj or Howard. They were all back to their normal lives, Sheldon was sure of it. Leonard stayed with him though, they were best friends after all.

Somehow, it made Sheldon happy to see his best friend be there, or perhaps, for once Sheldon felt important to the people around him. His whole world turned upside down, and not in a good way. The only good thing was his friends suddenly being nice. In the past, Sheldon tried to ignore all the witty remarks, and not so subtle insults from everyone. Suddenly, it hit Sheldon. He actually did something that his friends should thank him for. It probably was a first. A few days ago, he could have just said no. Let the guys have their way with Leonard and be safe and sound. Maybe a bit bitten up, but no worse than what happened now. Sheldon realized he didn't regret doing what he did, but for some reason, it still didn't become easier.

From what it looked like now, it would never become really easier.

**Thank you for the faves, reviews and follows, I appreciate them so much it burns. Secondly, I would like apologize… I've been rereading my old chapters to get some sort of start on this one and well… In the 1****st**** chapter Leonard went on a date with Leslie, but in the 5****th**** (?) chapter I called Penny his girlfriend. Bad author *slaps herself*. Well, I changed it to just friend, but come on, surely someone noticed and didn't tell me, how do you even miss that!? I know I screwed up, stop blaming me, it's my first fic after all. .**

**Oh, and one more thing. I know that's probably, no, totally not how pain meds and such work. Again, I never had the joy of experiencing anything like that, so bear with me. If anyone feels like enlightening my uneducated ass, please feel free to. **


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